i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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