Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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