I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
