hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
