I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize