Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
