i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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