i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
