next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
