READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
