I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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