I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
