so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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