Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
