thus making me awesome and them whores
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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