My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
