anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
