was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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