I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
