Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had to cum in my sink.
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