i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
