I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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