I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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