it hurts more in the daytime
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
