I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
