She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
