I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
