my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
