My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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