Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
