tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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