OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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