I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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