we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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