This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize