you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
