You made me cry and you don't even care
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
