so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize