True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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