those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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