You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
