butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize