Screwed.edu
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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