hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
