If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
