My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
