when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
