just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize