seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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