"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
