I puked a lego.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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