butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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