possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
