I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize