after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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