We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Swine flu. Run for my life!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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