If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize