I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize