Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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