her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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