I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
