After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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